New Year's Resolution

Many people set New Year's resolutions every year and never keep them.  They strive to do too much, put too much pressure on themselves, or flat out stop trying.  I listen to KLOVE all of the time, and they were asking people to just pick a one word resolution this year and see if that is easier.  As soon as I heard that, one word came to mind for me .............STRENGTH. That word means a lot to me in many different ways, emotionally and physically.

Strength to get through this deployment
Strength to hold down the household stuff
Strength to have patience with the kids when I am at my wits end
Strength for Chief and help him emotionally during this deployment
Strength to mend the kids' hearts when they are missing their Daddy and having a bad day
Strength physically and emotionally to lose this last 20 lbs
Strength in the gym to keep myself healthy
Strength to run my first 1/2 marathon
Build more Strength in my body physically
Strength to my faith to God and build myself more spiritually

I imagine more will come to mind over the next year, but this is what I have so far.  So, if I complete at least once of those, I will keep my New Year's resolution!

I hope other people decide to do a one word resolution this year.  I know I plan on keeping mine.

Mark 12:30 NIV
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength

Ephesians 6:10-12 Finally, be strong in the Lord, and in the strength of his might.

Happy New Year!!

I am a New Year's Eve baby, so everyone celebrates my birthday!  New Year's Eve was especially hard for me this year without Chief.  He always tries so hard to make my birthday special, and he did it again this year!  I received my favorite flowers the day before my birthday.

He also mailed me 2 handmade jewelry boxes that he bought in Iraq and a very sweet card.  Mom also ordered Egg Custard pie from Coney Island Cafe and made chili for everyone that evening.  My brother and his family, and my grandparents came over that night.  We all rang in the New Year together even though everyone was ready to go to bed BEFORE midnight.  We made it though, and we had a great time. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's~

Christmas

Christmas was great this year, but it was very obvious that Chief was not here.  I just don't feel complete when we are away from each other.  The family all came over to Mom and Tiny's house on Christmas Eve, and we opened presents.  We Skyped Chief in so that he could share in the chaos and fun!  We had great conversation, amazing food, and a wonderful time.


Christmas morning was wonderful as well.  The kids were so excited to see what Santa had brought them this year! We also Skyped in Chief, so he was able to share that time with us as well.  Mom made a breakfast casserole, we cooked all afternoon, and then we went to my Grandma's house later on in the day for Christmas dinner.

Miss Priss checking out her new Teacup Piggy

Jackson "fainting" after he got the Wii game he wanted from Santa

The day after Christmas, we picked up Mookier at the airport in Amarillo.  It was great to see her and have all of our kids under one roof again.  We spent the day at my brother and sister in law's house with my Dad that drove in from Elk City, OK.  We had prime rib, watched the kids play on the Kinect, and just visited all day.  It was a wonderful day as well.

Christmas Eve is especially hard for us since it is Beckam's Birthday and also the day he died.  It is hard to believe that it has been 7 years because it feels like yesterday.  The raw hurt is still there on this day every year, and I don't think it will ever go away.  I still "what if" myself, question God and his reasoning, and think about it every day of my life.

Today in church, I finally have let go of the "what ifs".  Nothing really stands out that caused this, but I started thinking about how selfish I am for questioning God!  Who am I to do this???  He sacrificed His Son for our eternal life.  Beckam was blessed to me for a short time, and God took him back to be with him.  We are so blessed that we were able to have 2 1/2 hours with him and on Christmas Eve. It only seems fitting if you think about it.  The Dr's kept telling us to prepare to lose both babies, but I knew in my heart that He would not do that to us.  We wanted those babies so much and had tried for so long for them.  I was meant to be a Mom, and I know He wanted me to be one as well.  By God's hand, my pregnancy continued against all odds.  When you have a greater than 97% chance of losing the other baby, you would think there really wasn't any hope to hold on to.  I pulled every hope and strength out of myself that night and had complete trust in God that He would save our Monkey Doodle that was still growing in my tummy.  When Monkey Doodle was born, they told us that he had a 80% chance of cerebral palsy, 100% chance of learning disabilities, would probably have horrible eyesight, and would be on the smaller side the rest of his life. Our tiny, wrinkly, beautiful boy had a long road ahead of him and a lot of obstacles to overcome.  We gave him over to God once again, and He again showed us His grace and love to us.  Monkey Doodle is now about to be 7 years old 1 month, and he has no physical or learning disabilities whatsoever, top in his class, and is in the 95% percentile for his height and 50% for his weight.  He is the size of an average 9 year old and reads at a 4 grade level!!!  It is quite obvious that he is a complete miracle and is destined for something special on this earth.  He has the sweetest and most gentle spirit, and everyone loves him. I truly think that God took Beckam from us to save Monkey Doodle.  He knew what He was doing, and I have no business questioning God.  He gave me exactly what I wanted!  I have the husband I always dreamed of, 4 beautiful kids even though one was not born to me and one is in heaven,  and an incredibly interesting and amazing life! I also have a family that loves me and a God that loves all of me, including my faults.

I look at our life, and we are incredibly blessed with amazing and healthy children, good health for us, amazing families, wonderful friends, a beautiful home, live in paradise at the moment, and have a wonderful career with steady pay.  God always provides even when we don't ask.  We always end up in the perfect house, the perfect jobs, and all around perfect situation for us.  

God is so good, so good all of the time.

It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

even if it is 80 degrees outside!  It is so hard to get in to the spirit with it being 80 degrees everyday and wearing slippers and shorts!  I am very envious of my friends that are experiencing cold weather and snow, but then they are envious of me because I live in paradise! 

The deployment is nearing way to fast, and Chief will be leaving us a few days after Turkey day.  It hit me like a ton of bricks this week, and I became completely overwhelmed.  I swear I have become his 3rd arm this week because I don't want to leave his side, but we are enjoying every second we can together.  It is so much harder this time because not only do I have to mend my broken heart, but I also have to mend Miss Priss and Monkey Doodle's hearts too.  At dinner this week, Monkey Doodle asked Chief is he was going to be gone a long time.  When Chief told him, "yes," Monkey got huge crocodile tears in his eyes and could barely finish his dinner.  My heart broke in to a million pieces!  Many tears have been shed by all of us this week, and we are having a our bad days and good days.

Today was a great day since we decorated for Christmas!  We wanted Chief to be able to enjoy the decorations and also decorate the tree as a family.  It was so much fun, and we made amazing memories tonight.  The kids really enjoyed decorating their trees that go in their room and also the main tree.  We did have a mishap while the kids were wrestling today, and Monkey Doodle ended up with 2 staples in his head.  This is the 2nd time he had to be sewn up in his short little life, and he never has shed a tear either.  The Dr. that did the staples today did not even give him any numbing medication and stapled straight in to his head without it!  Monkey Doodle has such a high pain tolerance and never even flinched.  He is such a tough 6 year old!

Well, here are the pictures of the inside Christmas decorations.  Hope you like them as much as we do!

Halloween

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted!  I have been super super busy with family here, Halloween, Chief's Promotion ceremony, reception, and party! I will do a separate post for the promotion, but here are some Halloween pictures.